THE BACK-UP RITUAL


Story by Jason Jay Stevens
Puppets by Naia Venturi
Puppeteering by Jason Jay Stevens and Naia Venturi

 

SCENE 1: At the CROSSROADS...        
   
EEGEE WILEY WOE:
"Over Time, Novelty Increases.
As each of your lives sweep variously into the Future,
things will continue to get more and more WIERD."
  DANNY DAVID DEEDS of DARING :
"Hello Woe, Tiamat Bless."
  "...Mr. Punch and his Cabinet have power that grows and grows, megawatt by megawatt, as though the inner friction of the Cabinet feeds their Fascist Furnaces. The craving for that power is what currently unites them. Worse yet, the People blindly accept any plan Mr. Punch vomits forth. For example, he kept 10thousand crows captive, fed them nothing but medical waste for six years, and has unleashed them, angry into the world..."

 

       
SCENE 2: Later at the same CROSSROADS Fuzz Madam Boomixer (an undercover agent for the rebellion) meets with General Toidyrod (a loyal servant of MR. PUNCH)...   Note: In the following scene General Toidyrod is disguised as Danny David Deeds of Daring.    
   
FUZZ MADAM BOOMIXER: ...Are you implying that the Ill are the Enemy, General Toidyrod?   GENERAL TOIDYROD: Mr. Punch has declared it so! With the elimination of the Sick, our People will again be able to live in Convenience and Freedom! Nothing shall stand in the Way of Pure Destiny! Praise Punch! Hail Faith! Freedom and Convenience for All of Punch's People!   FUZZ MADAM BOOMIXER reviels her true identity...

Fuzz: I can sleep no longer! Tisch kreisen Zeit!
Toidy: GASP! You speak non-English! What is the meaning of this? Do you want your Consumer Rights revoked?!

A fight begins...

 

       
   
Madam Fuzz proves superior at first...   ...General Toidyrod zaps Fuzz Madam Boomixer with his HOARY ROD OF OILY POX...    

 

       
   
...Fuzz Madam Boomixer is mortally wonded...   ...she pages Doctor BoneYard ....and they meet...   .,,,.in the INNERNET....

Doc: "Captain Panaroid and his crue are at the trailor right now, performing the Back-Up Ritual this evening. They should have the whole system finished tonight. Madame Fuzz, is there anything I can do for you?"
Fuzz: "Thank you, kind Doctor, but no. Just make sure everything gets backed-up--Oh! and inform Eegee Wiley Woe of my departure. And now, One last Good Evening... C'est just a pipe." (she dies)

 

       
SCENE 3: MR. PUNCH's oval office...        
   
I must Purge the Cabinet of any trace of Evil and Treason! I must Purge the Cabinet! I must Purge the Cabinet! First Minister MissleFingers! His offices yield a great host of Inflicted! Second, that old LardyCuffs, who covets my Divine Shrone, he's a gangster and his habits are for shame! Next, I will subdue Temerarious Shredder, the Minister of the People's Banks! He's a Bandit! A Liar! A Theif and a Whore! When I'm finished with him, I'll purge even more! General ToidyRod, self-declared Prince of Defense! I'll roast that P...   (enter General Toidyrod)
Punch: Why do you disturb me at such an hour?
Toidy: To personally inform you, Dear Leader, that as a Warrior of Faith, I have defeated two more who stood against you; Fuzz Madam BooMixer and Danny David Deeds of Daring have been eliminated.
  Punch: Fool! I said I wanted them ALIVE! It was MY pleasure to kill the traitors! And you failed to bring me the most dangerous of their faction! You have DISOBEYED me for the last time TOIDYROD!
Toidy: I was defending Commerce and the Faith, Divine Mister Punch!

 

       
   
Punch: AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
MISTER PUNCH unleashes a noxious fume.
Toidy: GASP!
  Punch: Polyps are already forming on your nucleotides, ToidyRod. The gasping is just an effect of the delivery! You, too, will experience a rapid and irreversible, exponential increase in aging, as your DNA decays like rotting vegetation! Another traitor! Another case of Genomic Frambesia! AHAHAHA!   Toidy: GASP!

 

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